The week seemed to go by without even happening, and Goreth found themself at Aunti Zero’s again, thinking about whether or not they needed a new system name for themselves, waiting for the Murmuration and Erik to show up.

They knew that there had been sitdown dinners with Peter and Abigail. Some of which had been lovely, and some of which had been tense.

They’d fronted for much of the week, and had made several posts to Patreon, or so they recalled. But maybe that had been the week before?

They’d spent some time trying to coax Rräoha back to the front to meet gem. But that wasn’t happening.

And somewhere in there, they’d meant to find a way to go to Cannon Beach with Erik and the Murmuration. But Goreth recalled that Erik had to recover from their psychotic episode for a couple of days.

And then stress that was building between Sarah and Goreth and their housemates had meant it was important to spend more time together doing household things, like sitdown dinners. And they focused on that instead of going to the beach, and Erik said it was Winter anyway and it would be miserable at the beach at sundown until Spring. They should wait.

Also, they might all have to take the bus out there and stay the night somewhere, and they’d have to save up for that.

And they did remember thinking, every day, what had happened to the day before? Where’d it go?

But now that they were here at Aunti Zero’s for their weekly meetup with Erik and the Murmuration, it seemed like they’d just been here.

At least they had a little extra money for something nice. A gourmet almond poppyseed muffin and a really big mocha with extra sprinkles on it.

But if time kept flashing by like this, without a clear continuity of actions and thoughts that Goreth, or any of them, could keep track of, they were going to miss the deadline for something, and not know it.

Goreth suddenly felt afraid that it was January already, and looked at their phone.

Nope, December 28.

They had just over a week to get their paperwork into Oregon’s DHS and renew their Medicaid.

But.

Christmas had happened?

Shit. Shit. Shit.

Oh, right. That was one of the sitdown dinners. One of the tense ones.

Sarah and Goreth didn’t celebrate Christmas, or any Christian holiday. But Peter did. And Abigail went along with it for their relationship. And their walk-ins from the Sunspot had no idea what it was, and it was a prominent part of the local culture. A Thing.

The Ktletaccete should get to know what it was, at least. And eat Peter’s Christmas dinner.

Goreth could now remember someone’s sudden revulsion at eating meat. Which was something new for them.

It had been so strong.

Which was confusing and hard, because of their sensory issues that made so many other dishes hard to eat for them. Meat was one of Goreth’s safe foods, and to suddenly be unable to eat it, and for it to be a meal that they’d requested from Peter, who’d cooked it.

It had made things awkward and tense.

The whole culture shock thing was starting to get really old, and it looked like they’d signed up to have a lot more of it in the future.

And it wasn’t like the contract they’d written up could be used to govern shared sensations and emotions when they were co-conscious, which seemed to be the default state of their system.

Phage had said it was trying to do what it could to alleviate the clashes, but…

At least this mocha and this muffin seemed to be more than safe.

“Let’s really enjoy these things,” Goreth said. “And float some ideas for our system name, huh?”

Their legal last name was Ampersand. Which both Sarah and Goreth felt really happy about. Proud of it. A reference to their plurality. But there was already a well known system that posted to Tumblr with the name ‘the Ampersand System’, spelled out just like their name. So, they’d been going by ‘Sarah and Goreth’ since they’d joined the community.

Everyone knew them as that, and it would probably stick for a while even if they came up with something new.

But, like, locally, amongst their outworld, in-real-life-not-on-the-internet friends, Goreth at least felt like it was time to have something shorter and more inclusive. Especially if they were going to have any more members in their system.

And having a name that was not on any official documentation or records anywhere was a really good idea.

And the Murmuration’s new name was inspiring.

The word that came to mind, in relation to that, was Susurration. The murmuring of a creek or stream.

Goreth always got those two words confused. In their mind, murmuration should be the sound of a creek or stream, and susurration should be the movement of a large flock of birds. But, nope, every time they looked it up it was the other way around.

Poets!

It was probably the damn fault of poets!

Anyway. English. Weird language. Didn’t always make sense, even when it was your first language.

But Susurration? Were they really the soft sound of water trickling over rocks? It was a beautiful thought. But also, they didn’t really want to have a name so easily confused with the Murmuration. And they didn’t want to sound like they were copying them.

Changing their system name so soon after the Murmuration had done so was bad enough.

It really felt like that had been just yesterday, too.

Erik had said something about culture shock. Which was what Goreth was thinking about now.

And Erik walked in the door.

Though, ‘walked’ was not really the word for what happened.

He glided in. And he wafted over to their table like a leaf on the wind, arms out and palms down like Iron Man flying, and leaned on the table with bright, gleeful eyes and a mouth open and slowly working its way around a word.

“I’ve got a date,” he said, in hushed tones. It was clear he wanted to shout it, but very purposefully, very carefully didn’t.

“What?” Goreth asked.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Goreth, Sarah, Phage, et. al.” Erik said. “I can’t stay. I’ve got a date. He’s a hottie. He looks like John Linnell! And like Prince! He’s like all my favorite men rolled into one. Ha! He literally is. I hope. And he’s fam, and he’s,” Erik gestured at the table and chairs that they all usually sat at, “also this kind of family, and I’ve gotta go prepare.”

And then he stood there staring at Goreth, like he was waiting for something.

Erik’s happiness was so present that Goreth felt like they were the one who’d just scored a date. Was this what compersion felt like?

“You probably should do that,” Goreth quietly encouraged Erik, finding it impossible to hold any sort of a smile back.

“Where’s the Murmuration?” Erik asked.

“Oh, you know, they’re usually fifteen minutes later than this. We got here early. Their bus, right?” Goreth reminded Erik.

“Oh, yeah. Damn,” Erik said. “I wanted to tell them, too. But I really gotta. I just.”

“Need to go.”

“Yes!”

“You probably should do that,” Goreth repeated.

“I should.”

“Take care of yourself.”

“Yes.” He wagged a finger then, and said, “You take care of yourselves, too.”

“We’re trying.”

“Good!”

Erik almost left right then, whirling for the door, but he reversed the whirl and held a finger up at Goreth again, “When the Murmuration shows up, act like this at them for me, OK? Give them a taste!”

Goreth chuckled and sighed with obvious exhaustion and said, “We’ll try.”

More businesslike, “That will have to do.”

Then he turned toward the door like a soldier facing his duty, and then flew out of the cafe like a starling chasing the future.

“Whew!” Kate shouted from behind the counter.

Most of the rest of the customers chuckled, and Goreth turned in their seat to grin at the attention that Erik had garnered. A couple people clapped.

They almost all knew each other, at least in passing. People were genuinely happy for Erik, and it was really good to be part of that.

Moments like this were the whole reason they kept coming to this cafe, honestly.

Goreth had a brief moment of worry that maybe the date would go horribly wrong, and thought about how they could support Erik if that were the case. They didn’t have a car, and couldn’t go pick him up from anywhere, but maybe they could help arrange a ride. If it was needed.

They pulled out their phone and thought about how to word a message about it. What would come off as support, and not offend Erik. They knew each other well, and had for a long time. But, Goreth and Sarah had not really ever heard Erik talk about dating before. At least, not at the beginning of a first date.

But, looking out for each other was a thing a Tumblr post said was the thing to do, and it made sense.

Maybe keep the energy of the exchange they just had.

They ended up sending a text saying, “Send us and Murmur updates? Like single emojis? So we can keep feeling giddy with you?”

Murmur.

Goreth would have to double check with the Murmuration to see if that was OK.

Erik sent a thumbs up back. And then a flame and a heart.

“That’s more than one emoji,” Goreth responded.

A whole string of randomly chosen emojis that wrapped around the text box several times came back.

Chuckling, Goreth put the phone down on the table and tore a big chunk out of their muffin and ate it.

They did feel sad for themself and for Sarah that they were not getting to experience dating another plural system. Or anyone, for that matter.

It was a deep sadness. A sense of loss that cut right to the center of their being. And they sat with it, and focused on it for a moment. Letting it be all that they were thinking about.

But their compersion for Erik was good, and they slipped away from self pity to feel that again.

Also.

Something about what had happened last week, which still seemed like it had been moments ago, made it kind of feel like they were all part of the same system anyway. And if Erik could date another plurality, a queer plurality, even just once, even just tonight, it was absolutely worth it to experience it right along with him, if dissociated by distance and text chat through emojis.

What would happen if Goreth and Sarah started dating someone? Who would that person be dating? Goreth? Sarah? The whole system?

Did Phage ever think about dates?

How did that work for the others, Ashwin and Rräoha?

Based on memories Ashwin had shared, Goreth got the impression that relationships and some kind of courting were a thing on the Sunspot.

But different.

Goreth turned in their seat to look back at the counter. There wasn’t a line of customers currently, so the baristas were busy cleaning, but taking their time about it. They looked a little bored, but there was lull in whatever conversation they’d been having.

“Hey, Kate!” Goreth called.

Kate’s head popped up from behind the espresso machine, and she called back, “Yeah?”

“Fun hypothetical question for you!”

“I love those! Shoot!”

“What if… You were a four hundred and ninety year old alien being stuck in my head…”

“Ho boy!”

“I’m not done.”

“Go on!”

“… and you just saw what happened with Erik right now? Do you think you’d be missing the whole going on dates thing?”

“Four hundred and ninety years old?”

“Yeah.”

“And alien?”

“Yeah.”

“In your head. Like one of your headmates.”

Goreth gestured, “yeah.”

“Are they going to be mad?”

“About what?”

“Me answering for them, you dodo!”

Goreth must have looked a little confused. They definitely hesitated.

Kate grinned, “Ashwin has their favorite drink here already, Sweetie.”

Goreth glanced around and noted that people were ignoring their conversation, as usual, and shook their head.

So last week’s episode hadn’t soured things or anything. This place was still like it always was.

Actual home.

Goreth wished they could afford to come here more often. They turned back to the table and their muffin.

The Murmuration came in the door, steered by Angle and Donnie, and stopped at the table, looking around. “What’d I miss?” they asked.

—

Sarah got off the MAX at Pioneer Square feeling grumpy about something.

Earlier that week, Goreth had checked the times for events at the Square and figured it might actually be clear today, and so they’d planned to come here to people watch.

New Years had already happened, so all the shit for that had been torn down.

It was clear.

Of stuff.

There were seats under the shelters between the Starbucks and the food carts.

But it was raining.

She lugged her backpack and thumped her cane, and headed over that way anyway.

They were going to people watch over a bag lunch and some tea, but also, it was time to try to have a sort of council meeting. Quietly.

None of this was what she was grumpy about. She
couldn’t place it.

Phage, Ashwin, and Rräoha had been really, really quiet lately, and she was worried about them, which was part of why they were having the meeting. In fact, they hadn’t seen Rräoha since gem had first arrived in the system. And they didn’t know when or if there’d be a new arrival, and that made Sarah nervous.

But she wasn’t grumpy about any of that.

“Am I the one who’s grumpy?” she asked into her collarbone as she walked over to the sheltered tables.

There wasn’t an immediate response. But the grumpiness felt like it moved, shifting its weight and position in
her body.

That was a pretty good indication that it belonged to someone else.

“OK. We’ve had the shits really bad for the last few days. They’ve just cleared up, I hope. But we are supposed to be having our period right now,” she said. “That’s um, a thing that human bodies do when they run on estrogen. If we had a uterus, it’d be worse… But it’s pretty bad, and it makes our emotions stronger.”

She paused in her speech, hoping that that was getting through and being understood by whomever needed to know it. It was only Ashwin and Rräoha that hadn’t experienced a period yet, but they mattered, too.

She came to an empty table and set of chairs, and put her backpack on the table and started to sit down, “But, what I’m saying is. Even though our emotions are all aggravated by our hormones, they still come from a real place. We’re going to have a council meeting now. You should bring it up with the rest of us.”

Maybe having their period right now was why everyone was being so quiet.

Maybe it made them all blendy, or something.

It didn’t usually happen in the past, but with the new members, maybe things had started working differently.

When no one stirred, she shrugged and started to pull the tea and lunch bag out of the backpack. Then she unpacked the lunch bag, which had crackers, nuts, a sandwich, and a small bag of carrots in it.

“Have it your way,” She said, and took a bite of cheese sandwich.

No meat. Just in case that was triggering for any of the others.

She ate lunch slowly and casually, watching people and their interactions for Goreth’s benefit.

Very little else happened.

—

Some time later, I stood in our bedroom, looking down at our laptop. We were just going to use it for something. What were we going to use it for?