“I’m not a boy”

Another dream entry.

We had a long colorful dream about exploring one of our bigger cities, looking for things, living in a big shared house with old friends, and using our telekinetic powers. It was a lot of fun. We could fly and make our cane come to us by gesturing and all sorts of other things and everyone was duly impressed, including our brother and our cousin.

In the last scene of the dream we floated down a set of stairs into the basement of our big shared house, and then into the movie room where a bunch of the residents were watching something. We remained about half a meter above the ground, our big red and purple skirt flowing beautifully. We had some sort of big wool coat on, our floppy hat with the feather in it, and our moto boots.

One of the guests, someone who looked like a woman we’ve seen before somewhere, was very impressed and came over waxing poetic about our flying abilities, making it clear that she was flirting with us and Interested and talking about how she’d love to be held by someone like us. In the process, she called us a boy, however.

Those of us who were coconscious, the frontrunner particularly, were essentially futches. Almost all dragons, with a mix of enjoying femme presentation, with touches of butch clothing and accessories, and happy taking more butch roles when interacting with people. But none of us are male.

“I’m not a boy,” we said.

“Well,” the woman responded, “I can gracefully accept when I’m being turned down, but all the same, the compliments stand.”

“I’m not turning you down,” we said, “I’m just telling you that I’m not a boy.”

“Oh,” she blinked, “well… that might still work out.” And then she moved as if to request being held, so we lowered ourselves to the ground and put our arm around her, and it felt good.

And then we woke up.

Now we’re thinking about this in terms of system dynamics.

The rule is, for us, everyone we encounter in a dream is a system member. We know this due to extensive experimentation and switching in dreams and just after waking up, and comparing memories.

We also know that most of our dreams are a kind of role playing, especially when people interact extensively with our frontrunner. But that also doesn’t mean it’s all fake or isn’t derived from truths about each of us. The role playing is usually a therapeutic exploration of who we are and what we want and how we feel about things. (Which is essentially what our novels are, too.)

So, we’re wondering if this woman, who is a headmate, is someone who thinks she is heteroromantic but maybe isn’t, or if she is just heteroromantic and trying to figure out if she can be heteroromantic while attracted to aporagender enbies like our dragons (hint: she can), or if she’s biromantic and was pretending to be heteroromantic for the sake of the dream.

We can’t really know for sure until she comes forward and explores those feelings while in the midst of a mixed group of real people, though.

But we’re interested to find out, because so far, the only confirmed heteroromantic person in our system is Jenifer, our eldest girl. It’d be neat to find someone else who has that in common with her.

However, we don’t know who she is. We have her inworld “name”, which is just a feeling that contains her location in our psyche, so we might be able to bring her forward. But that only really works well while we’re dreaming. There’s a margin of error using it to bring someone to the Bridge when we’re awake. And we could eliminate that margin of error if we had a spoken name for her, but we don’t.

One thought on ““I’m not a boy”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.